In the beginning, everyone wants proof of death.
How did she die? When did he die?
How could this happen?
Is she really gone?
There are forms to fill out
Paperwork to complete
Obituaries to write
Questions to attempt to answer
Later, sometimes much later
After the forms have been filed
The piles of paper have diminished
Our focus turns to proof of life
We remember not how the person died
But how they lived
Not the beginning and end dates of a life
But the dash between
This is where we celebrate PROOF OF LIFE
In my 30s, I lost my mother and found myself
PROOF OF LIFE was the name of an exhibition I put together in October 2015, inspired by the long process of emptying my mother’s house after her death. The text above was the introductory text to the exhibition.
GRIEF, GRIT AND GRACE — this blog — is the continuation of that project. I’m going to share my own journey, from the Proof of Death stage of grieving to the Proof of Life stage I currently find myself in.
Now that the paperwork is done, my mother’s house has been sold and her ashes (mostly) scattered, I have the luxury, the pleasure, of celebrating her life. My hopes are that by sharing my stories, and talking openly about grief, I can help others who may be at any point in their own journeys.
Thanks for joining me.
With love,
Charlene aka “Grace”